Observations From the Fast Lane

by Brian Blackmore

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The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card
in the mail.

It's so bad, I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind
the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

The economy is so bad that CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

The economy is so bad if the bank returns your check marked
"Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant
you or them.

The economy is so bad Hot Wheels stock is trading higher than GM.

The economy is so bad McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

The economy is so bad parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

The economy is so bad a truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico

The economy is so bad Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

The economy is so bad Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

The economy is so bad the Mafia is laying off judges.

The economy is so bad Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen..

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff
scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion
disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5
Trillion disappear!

And, finally...

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars,
jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

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